About me

Oh Hey! I'm Alice, I'm 22 and I'm from Belfast. Welcome to my corner of the internet!

8 Sept 2020

talking about something I don't talk about

 I love Copenhagen more than any other place on Earth and if you know me that's not really going to come as much of a shock. This is a fact that I knew the second I stepped off the plane and set foot in Copenhagen four years ago. I've literally only been twice but it's snuck it's way right into my heart and if someone I'd never met before asked me to come to Copenhagen with them I honestly wouldn't even hesitate. The title of this post says 'talking about something I don't talk about' yet very clearly I talk a LOT about Copenhagen so how can this be something you don't talk about. I actually just posted a photo on Instagram to say that this day two years ago I was in Copenhagen and that I'd give anything to go back but there's another thing that happened two years ago today that I don't talk about. That I don't think I've ever really talked about. I don't think I've even said it out loud.

Two years ago I was actually minorly sexually harassed in Copenhagen. It's something that I genuinely sometimes forget actually happened to me. It wasn't until I was thinking back on what we did while we were there that I actually even remembered about it. A group of drunk guys came up and one of them slapped me on the ass while I was waiting to get on the bus with a large group of my family. None of them saw I didn't even tell them that it happened. I still haven't. Yet somehow I decided I'm going to publish it on the internet. We'd just had the loveliest night and this situation started to put a bit of a dampener on the whole thing but a lovely danish lady had actually witnessed it and had come over to me to ask if I was okay. I was, just a little bit triggered. Somehow I've managed to erase it from my mind and every time I think of Copie (which is a lot) it doesn't even cross my mind. Which is maybe why I never talk about it.

But we should talk about it! A survey carried out in 2017 found that 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment which is a HECK of a lot of women. I know the fact that this has only happened to me once is so so rare and that so many women experience this way more often. But the fact that my one experience of this had to happen in my most favourite place in the world seemed unfair to me.

There's a line that I love in Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid that says "It didn't seem fair to me that his weakest self got to decide what my future looked like" I didn't want to get caught up in this moment and have it ruin my perception of this city that I have so much affection for I didn't want this one experience to be all I think of when I think of Copie. I text my friend about it and prayed about it and decided to move on and enjoy what was left of this trip.

God must have seen me and was like 'this girl loves Copenhagen too much for this to affect her' because He definitely took away any feelings of fear or disgust or anger or shame or panic that I had and I've been so fortunate that I've been able to put this experience behind me. Our past can so often define our futures and past hurts and past wrongs can cause us to feel unworthy or unwanted. Another thing I talk about a lot is the song Wondering from High School Musical: The Musical: The Series which talks about regrets and how even if we could change our pasts we would still be wondering about how things could be different. Just take heart in the fact that every choice that we make, or things that happen that we have no choice in, are all for good. They may not seem like good at the time but they allow us to grow and trust in God to help us see the good in time.

So I guess this is my #MeToo moment and it feels good to finally actually talk about. I still LOVE Copenhagen and I would still go back in a heartbeat but even the things that we build up as perfect in our heads that we think are our places of safety can break and shatter. The only thing that is truly perfect is God. I was placing my hope and faith and trust in a city instead of in the God who CREATED the ground that this city was built on and he is the only one that I should build my life on. Always.